People who irritate me #205: The Foister

I like to carry several things at all times with me:
1. ID
2. Lip balm (with SPF thank you)
3. Digital camera
4. Notebook and pen

Consequently, you'll often find me with some type of tote or messenger bag. But just because my bag happens to be bigger than a sandwich bag does not mean I will carry your shit for you. Small items like ID cards or gum is fine, because I'll probably end up stealing your gum.

However, I usually refuse to be responsible for other people's things because they don't want to be responsible for them. Especially if they aren't even wearing clothes with pockets in the first place, because that implies pre-meditated thought on Foisting things onto me.

Take my sister, a serial Foister, for instance. She doesn't want to leave her wallet - one of those huge woman wallets that would fit a checkbook or double as a clutch - in the car with her tote. That's totally understandable. Then she asks me to carry it for her. Normally I would oblige but why not just take your tote with you? What is not understandable though, is the hysterical shitfit she throws when I say no.

Actually, what is scarier is her trailing behind me muttering things like, "God, you're so stupid" and "I wish I could hit you..." What? How old are we? At this point, appeasing her is futile because she wants to be angry. I really hate that type of angry person because there's nothing you can do to calm them down short of some sort of blood sacrifice.

Ten minutes later, as we're sitting down for dinner, she continues to boil. As the waiter fills our water glasses, she suddenly slams her wallet/clutch to the ground. It hits the ground with a big SMACK, so at first I thought she finally did hit me and I just had slow nerves endings.

Thank god there was wine at dinner. Sometimes I worry because she appears to be one of those people who justify large alcohol intake by talking up how stressful their day was. She seemed to mellow out by dessert though.

SIX MORE DAYS UNTIL NEW YORK!